Questions can be very revealing. Questions get straight to the point. So, I’m challenging myself to answer a variety of questions so my readers can get to know me a little better. Is there a question you would like me to answer and feature on my blog post? Leave a comment below or email me at findingaprilrenee@gmail.com.
Question: When do I find it difficult to ask for help?
There are a lot of societal pressures as a Black woman. Time and time again, we are labeled as being the “strong Black woman.” I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking exhausted. When I got out of my long-term relationship as a single mom, an outsider would think I was doing pretty well. I started a new job with better pay, and I was able to get an apartment that was in a good school district for my son.
The truth is, I was in survival mode. I felt like I was thrown into the deep end, and I had the choice to either sink or swim. It was like I was on autopilot for a very long time. There have been moments in my life when I would just break down and wonder where these emotions were coming from. I was feeding into that strong Black woman narrative for a long time. I had neglected what I was feeling until it all came crashing down on me.
It has been overwhelming these last several years, but I never wanted to ask for help. I needed to prove to everyone that I could be strong. I didn’t want to become a burden to my family and friends who had problems of their own. Everything was fine until I had those moments where my suppressed issues would rise to the surface again, only to reveal that everything wasn’t okay. It’s okay to realize that you need to talk to someone, whether it’s a friend, your family, or a therapist.
We don’t have to walk through life alone, and it’s okay to not be strong all the time. It’s those moments of uncertainty where we let the floodgates open to cry it out, talk it out, rebuild our strength, and keep moving ahead. One day at a time.
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